Category Archive: extended status update

Feb 01

Oz Never Did Give Nothing to Moulty: A Bucketa Massachusetts Accents

The Massachusetts accent isn’t achieved simply by dropping an R.

Nov 18

Tales from Above the Law (First in A Series)

“Now I’m that guy with the dog that attacks people,” I would have said, weeping bitterly, from jail.

Aug 17

Your Hip, Hapless Child

It’s missionaries, I think. I always talk to missionaries because they can at least put me down as a “maybe” and get more mission-kibble.

Jun 06

Upon First Looking — Really Looking — at My Newly-Paralyzed Dog’s Anus

“This isn’t fun for me, either,” I said. “But let’s get through it.”

Feb 07

Christmas in L.A. Is Officially Over

This year’s Christmas season lasted from roughly August 30 to Super Bowl Sunday.

Jan 30

Today You Will Wear Jean Shorts

Don’t be afraid of the inevitable.

Jan 01

Let Despair Be the First Celebrity Death of 2017

Be like Isidorus of Seville and cut it out.

Nov 26

How I Lived To Be 47

Simple tips to help you beat the odds—and the will of God—to live to 47.

Jun 28

Nice Things Are Not To Be Used

Maybe I should just learn to type.

Apr 19

Time To Invest in More Rocks

I feed from the pathetic zombie computer like it’s organ harvest time in “The Matrix.”

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