Category: extended status update

You’re Not My Father, Queensryche

violent-stupidity

“Silent Lucidity” would be such a great song if “Comfortably Numb” didn’t already exist and I didn’t understand English.

Oz Never Did Give Nothing to Moulty: A Bucketa Massachusetts Accents

tin-man-moulty

The Massachusetts accent isn’t achieved simply by dropping an R.

Tales from Above the Law (First in A Series)

Gordon Thunderfoot Is Not Allowed

“Now I’m that guy with the dog that attacks people,” I would have said, weeping bitterly, from jail.

Your Hip, Hapless Child

edward-gorey-from-the-hapless-child

It’s missionaries, I think. I always talk to missionaries because they can at least put me down as a “maybe” and get more mission-kibble.

Upon First Looking — Really Looking — at My Newly-Paralyzed Dog’s Anus

“This isn’t fun for me, either,” I said. “But let’s get through it.”

Christmas in L.A. Is Officially Over

Prostrated Epiphany Tree II

This year’s Christmas season lasted from roughly August 30 to Super Bowl Sunday.

Today You Will Wear Jean Shorts

jean-shorts-barrett

Don’t be afraid of the inevitable.

Let Despair Be the First Celebrity Death of 2017

Isidorus of Seville

Be like Isidorus of Seville and cut it out.

How I Lived To Be 47

freedoms-marty-barrett

Simple tips to help you beat the odds—and the will of God—to live to 47.

Nice Things Are Not To Be Used

pens in an ashtray

Maybe I should just learn to type.