My latest book is Limericks of Loss And Regret, a gripping, poignant, and occasionally filthy collection of fifty limericks and fifty short stories masterfully crafted to be read one per annum over the next century. Perhaps you will read it and determine your life has been a lie up to this point. Perhaps you will read it and determine that No, everything is fine. Perhaps you won’t read it. Perhaps I’m riding over there right now on a stolen bike.
Professionally I have been a master of ceremonies, janitor, tour guide, dishwasher, bus driver, English teacher, stage and TV actor, musician, playwright, network administrator, copyeditor, translator (OK German, better Spanish, even better Latin), website designer, magazine editor, hospital orderly, fry cook, commercial pitchman, photographer, technical manual scribe, garbage man, theatrical producer, package handler (UPS), songwriter, poet, park ranger, database developer, lecturer, panel moderator, tutor, ghostwriter, quality assurance specialist, marriage officiant, standup and improv comedian, HazMat incinerator, TV writer, IT Manager, TOEFL, SAT, GED, and American Citizenship Test Instructor, landscaper, dramaturg, board member and president, bank teller, licensed insurance agent, and journalist.
The list of jobs I haven’t been paid for is a little longer.