Category Archive: extended status update

Dec 31

Frampton Comes Alive

Frampton Chelsea Barrett, 1996-2014

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Dec 04

Asshole Stole My Bike

I’d like to think that, right now, in some lower rent place than where I’m currently living,

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Nov 25

How I Lived To Be 45

Advances in medical technology and attention to Quality of Life considerations like exercise, diet, and stress reduction have increased the average lifespan, but it is still a miracle of science — or maybe an offense to nature — to live to the age of 45.

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Nov 23

A Box of Free Grapefruit

There are times I want to pick up the phone and call my late father.

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Jun 21

Deep Facebook: For When It’s Complicated (first in a series)

In this article I use the name of a popular social media outlet as a stand-in for all of them, and thus don’t bother with a capital F. If it’s true that young people are no longer Flocking to facebook, the least we can do is top off the company’s IPO with a common noun.

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Jun 18

Don’t Throw Away Your Cows

Cows are watching from the ceiling.

Feb 09

Raising A Straight Man And Teaching My Daughter about Bigamy

I have many items on my parenting agenda. I take the mission seriously. But I’m always careful to make those agenda points seem as if they arose from circumstance rather than carefully-planned Powerpoint slides.

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Dec 31

New Year’s Resolution: To Not Be Like Mrs. Thistlewaite

It’s important to be aware of our surroundings and not look like a jackass.

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Dec 16

I Salivate (Like A Pavlov Dog)

Every writer can get into bad habits, but just remember what your best English teachers (mine were Mrs. McGovern, Mr. Molleur, Miss Hallissy, Mr. Kealy, Ms. Hylen, and Professor Goldstein) told you: Think about what you write so that you’re not writing anything unnecessary.

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Oct 01

A Visit to L.A. County Men’s Central Jail

As you are well aware, I stay away from seedy things. But today Seedy took a bus to me.

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