Category: food

Remembering Bart Sugarman

“It was one of the most gallant, generous, manly and disinterested Actions of my whole Life,” wrote Bart Sugarman, “and one of the best Pieces of Service I ever rendered my Country.”

The Shamrock Shake Is A Fixed Point in Time

shamrock shake

I’d been telling my children for a week that, by St. Patrick’s Day, they’d be getting Shamrock Shakes. And not just two of them, like when we go through the McDonald’s drive-thru once every three months and I stoically buy them two ice creams and eat none myself because I Don’t Support McDonald’s. We’d each …

Continue reading

Holiday Roast: The 8-Day Amity Island Diet

JAWS Diet

Amity Island, like Brigadoon or King Arthur’s Avalon, is a place out of time that is powered by summer dollars and magical realism. But an Islander’s gotta eat — and not some license plate he found in a river. As has been proven with exhaustive scholarship, we cannot rely on police reports or flyers on …

Continue reading

Don’t Throw Away Your Cows

cow_hell

Cows are watching from the ceiling.

The Green Beans of Courage

A man said to the Internet “Lentils: Soak them?”

Continue reading

Today We’ll Drink the Gargled Jell-O

I am distrustful of inexpensive things, because it has been constantly reinforced throughout my life that there is always a catch.

Continue reading

Starbucks Unveils New Overheard Argument Snippet Cups

“It’s a conversation starter,” says a Starbucks spokesman of an innovation in Cup-Based Text (CBT). “For a conversation you don’t want to continue.”

Continue reading

In-n-Out of Favor with the Lord: Fast Food Bible Passages

As much as a first visit to In-n-Out Burger is a revelation (“How can fast food burgers taste this good?“), it’s that much more special when a customer finds a verse from the actual Book of Revelation on his hamburger wrapper. Since 1948 In-n-Out Burger has been a southwestern craving; a friendly burger chain with …

Continue reading