Category: extended status update

A Box of Free Grapefruit


There are times I want to pick up the phone and call my late father.

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Deep Facebook: For When It’s Complicated (first in a series)

In this article I use the name of a popular social media outlet as a stand-in for all of them, and thus don’t bother with a capital F. If it’s true that young people are no longer Flocking to facebook, the least we can do is top off the company’s IPO with a common noun.

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Don’t Throw Away Your Cows


Cows are watching from the ceiling.

Raising A Straight Man And Teaching My Daughter about Bigamy

I have many items on my parenting agenda. I take the mission seriously. But I’m always careful to make those agenda points seem as if they arose from circumstance rather than carefully-planned Powerpoint slides.

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New Year’s Resolution: To Not Be Like Mrs. Thistlewaite

It’s important to be aware of our surroundings and not look like a jackass.

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I Salivate (Like A Pavlov Dog)

Every writer can get into bad habits, but just remember what your best English teachers (mine were Mrs. McGovern, Mr. Molleur, Miss Hallissy, Mr. Kealy, Ms. Hylen, and Professor Goldstein) told you: Think about what you write so that you’re not writing anything unnecessary.

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A Visit to L.A. County Men’s Central Jail

As you are well aware, I stay away from seedy things. But today Seedy took a bus to me.

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You Are Personally Responsible for Being Poor

In the wake of a fast food workers’ strike demanding a $15-an-hour wage, one of the best weapons in the fight against such an increase is successful people who feel they’ve made it on their own.

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Hair Cutting in America

“This secondary skull coating displeases me,” I tell my barber. “I’d like you to remove it.” “Have a seat,” he says. Earlier I’d looked in the rear-view mirror and saw a combination of Richard Brautigan and The Dude looking back at me. I thought, “I would not hire me. I look like I’m a writer-in-residence …

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Socialized Medicine: Friendbloat No Longer Curable with Facebook Decimation

When Langston Hughes wrote “I loved my friend/He went away from me/There’s nothing more to say/The poem ends/Soft as it began/I loved my friend,” he had it easy.

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