Category: extended status update

Upon First Looking — Really Looking — at My Newly-Paralyzed Dog’s Anus

“This isn’t fun for me, either,” I said. “But let’s get through it.”

Christmas in L.A. Is Officially Over

Prostrated Epiphany Tree II

This year’s Christmas season lasted from roughly August 30 to Super Bowl Sunday.

Today You Will Wear Jean Shorts


Don’t be afraid of the inevitable.

Let Despair Be the First Celebrity Death of 2017

Isidorus of Seville

Be like Isidorus of Seville and cut it out.

How I Lived To Be 47


Simple tips to help you beat the odds—and the will of God—to live to 47.

Nice Things Are Not To Be Used

pens in an ashtray

Maybe I should just learn to type.

Time To Invest in More Rocks


I feed from the pathetic zombie computer like it’s organ harvest time in “The Matrix.”

Questioning Velveteen


(Alf murdered cats and wasn’t good with electronics.)

Litterbugs Just Put It Over There

“(This trash) will be a balanced meal for a special kind of goat that eats only garbage and furniture.”

New Year’s Resolutions: East Vassalboro


In 2016, just stop picking at it.