Category: extended status update

How I Lived To Be 47

freedoms-marty-barrett

Simple tips to help you beat the odds—and the will of God—to live to 47.

Nice Things Are Not To Be Used

pens in an ashtray

Maybe I should just learn to type.

Time To Invest in More Rocks

PowerBook_MacBook

I feed from the pathetic zombie computer like it’s organ harvest time in “The Matrix.”

Questioning Velveteen

Velveteen

(Alf murdered cats and wasn’t good with electronics.)

Litterbugs Just Put It Over There

“(This trash) will be a balanced meal for a special kind of goat that eats only garbage and furniture.”

New Year’s Resolutions: East Vassalboro

mutation

In 2016, just stop picking at it.

Petsplaining: Smell My Dog

petsplaining

I have determined that my dog is a Posby.

Dear John, I’m Not Dead

By the time John was my age, he was dead.

This Inhuman Place: So Long, Brad Moore

busterjmoore

We’re up in the balcony of the Lowell High School Auditorium, Brad Moore and I, and we’re leaning over the side as we watch the LHS band (my sister is on clarinet) accompany the Spring production of “Oklahoma!” It’s May of 1980 and Brad is telling me about the Dead Boy. The Dead Boy is …

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The Shamrock Shake Is A Fixed Point in Time

shamrock shake

I’d been telling my children for a week that, by St. Patrick’s Day, they’d be getting Shamrock Shakes. And not just two of them, like when we go through the McDonald’s drive-thru once every three months and I stoically buy them two ice creams and eat none myself because I Don’t Support McDonald’s. We’d each …

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