Apparently it is my diet that prevents me from driving to Long Beach

Soliciting coprophagy on  Craigslist

Soliciting coprophagy on Craigslist

I have low expectations of the transaction going smoothly when I buy/sell things like tires, computers, books, etc., on Craigslist. There is always an element of haggling, flaking, or something that keeps it from being perfect. Yet it all works out in the end and I get the item or the price that I want. Low expectations: that’s the key.

(That is why I’m going to have the rest of my relationships on Craigslist.)

Recently I attempted to sell an old iMac and interacted with a guy from the 714 area code.

It begins with an email from his wife the night before, responding to my Craigslist ad. She asks for my phone number. I mail it back to her and say she can call in the morning. The next morning the husband calls, and says he wants to buy the computer for his wife, but he has no car. I tell him I don’t want to deliver it. Then we get cut off and the following text conversation ensues (if you doubt me, check with the NSA).

He offers me more money. I am not about to drive to Long Beach for an extra $15, so I say no, sorry, thanks for the offer. Then he asks my address. I assume he is lining up a ride. I give him my general neighborhood. I hear nothing, text him back, and ask if he is still interested.

He says, “Need delivery.” I say sorry, I thought he was going to make it after all, but best of luck. Perhaps it was my font that set him off.

I am not going to say “I wasn’t raised that way,” because I don’t think my parents and I covered the proper etiquette for a craigslist transaction during my formative years. But I do wonder what he was hoping to achieve. And did he think that my having eaten caca was the reason I wouldn’t be driving to Long Beach?

Now he will not get the benefit of the copy of Word 97’s spellcheck on the iMac.

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