Marty’s UU Ain’t No Challaback Bread
I arrived at this recipe like a dirty secret. This makes two delicious, vaguely-gooey loaves of challah that are not to be braided. You can try to braid them, but you will be thwarted.
Preheat oven to 325 degrees
You will need:
Two baking sheets with parchment paper
Cutting board
Two large mixing bowls
Pastry brush
Ingredients:
4 eggs
7 and 1/2 cups flour
3/4 cup sugar
1 cup butter (melted)
1 and 1/2 cups hot water
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup minced garlic
4 and 1/2 teaspoons yeast
(I’ve found a little cinnamon and honey go a long way, too)
Preparation:
Spread 1/2 cup flour on cutting board and set aside
Melt one cup of butter in saucepan, then set aside saucepan when its content have been emptied
Combine 7 cups flour, yeast, and salt in one mixing bowl (for legal purposes, we will call this Bowl 1)
Combine melted butter, hot water, sugar, garlic, and 3 beaten eggs in other mixing bowl (henceforth known as Bowl 2)
When each bowl has fully assimilated its contents, combine the bowls
Once materials in both bowls have been combined, gather dough and slap it onto the cutting board, flattening it into a disk (the better to reflect G-d’s disklike face)
Neglect dough disk for 30 minutes. See how it likes it.
After 30 minutes, crack remaining egg and stir into butter remnants from saucepan
Brush butter/egg mixture onto both sides of dough disk
Separate disk into two smaller disks, placing each on its own baking tray
Place both trays in oven and cook for 23 minutes
Eat before your family does. What have they ever done for you?