Dear Space,

What is conservation easement? The county is coming to reassess our property in the country next week and there is a new bylaw in the town charter.

Thanks,

Harry L., New Canaan, CT

Dear Harry,

I don't know.

Space

---

Dear Space,

My husband and I are thinking of letting a third person into our marriage. Can you give us some tips?

Lee N., Austin, TX

Dear Lee,

It's up to you.

Space

---

Dear Space,

I love to shop at IKEA, and would be interested in knowing the biographies of the people my favorite products are named after, like Billy, Groggy, and Todd Rundgren. Since you are omniscient, could you give me some background?

Thanks! Keep up the good work!

Mike, Madison, WI

Dear Mike,

I don't know what you're talking about.

Space

---

Brother Space,

My daughter says you treated her Most Unwelcomely at last Saturday's barn-raising and, as you are Fecund and Girthful, she is already big with child. You need to do the Godly thing by Rebekah before she is shunned. I dote on your answer.

Elder Tannis Root, Salem, IN

Dear Elder Root,

Prithee! Hearken! Ha ha ha. Thou! Ha ha. Space is indifferent.

Space

---

Dear Space,

I am going to an expensive J-Date wedding in Beverly Hills this Saturday, and there is a spot on my tuxedo shirt that is difficult to remove (I'm not the groom, but I'm just saying). Can you tell me how to get the spot out?

Bennett M., North Hollywood, CA

Dear Bennett,

Use a Temporal Emulator to go back in time to before you got the spot. A common mistake is that you'll set the coordinates too recently, so do yourself a favor and go back to 1910, or something, so you know the shirt didn't have a stain on it. Also make sure you go back to a time the shirt existed. When you get there, place the shirt in one of those AntiChron bags (see if they have a garment bag! LOL :)) so that the stain doesn't return as you hurtle back through time.

Space

---

Dear Readers: I know I often suggest a Temporal Emulator as a solution to many problems, and they are getting less and less expensive. Without wanting to sound like a broken record, a Temporal Emulator wouldn't be necessary if you buckled down and became Infallible, but this column would not be necessary if people followed that agenda. So act responsibly and get a Temporal Emulator.

Until next time,

L.K. Space

Do you have a question that only Space can answer? Send questions to Space

Back to Space