Martin Barrett

Author's posts

New Science from Zeus

You Can Use Mostly Posthumous BeatlesTM for Anything

So you know, Mostly-Posthumous BeatlesTM also supported gun control, anti-obesity education, universal healthcare and WiFi, tort reform, no-kill animal shelters, Fogelfoot, female priests, walruses, a woman’s right to choose, sneeze guards, the Designated Hitter, debt relief, and Hillary2016. (Of Interest: Julian painted the street and John didn’t even thank him.)

Cover Story: Baritone Player Monthly

It’s big news around here; I even beat out Delphon “Ingrown” Trongree for the cover, and that guy’s had a rough life. Guess it just got a little rougher, Delphon!

Words Next to Pictures I: What We Know About Alabama

I’m betting it all on the Genius Grant I will win for this project.

Team of Thrones

Big in Bremen at Club Fais Do Do

Lately I’ve been playing with a new band, Big in Bremen, whose work I can only describe as Wi-Fi-enabled Gypsy Music. I play trumpet and sing a couple songs (I enjoy singing “Streets of Laredo”). We perform songs in Russian and French, Mamas & Papas covers, and now and then a lesser-used song I wrote …

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tumblr_mazf71SL981rfshwo Both Tonight (lyrics by Marty Barrett, music by Fogelfoot) Slip into the restroom, Lady Watch all the debutantes take flight They’re jealous of your body… That roomy velvet pantsuit. Then you say, then you say,  “Why don’t you kill us both tonight?” Order off the menu, Woman I’ll make sure your lamb shank’s done …

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Jackson: 12-part “Hobbit” Will Attract Tolkien Fans

CHRISTCHURCH, NZ—Academy Award winner Peter Jackson is hoping his upcoming dozen installments of “The Hobbit” will appeal to readers of late British author and linguist J.R.R. Tolkien. “People who watch closely will definitely see some Tolkien influences in the movies,” says Jackson, noting that the title character—a small humanoid with hairy feet—is similar to characters …

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What My Mother Taught Me About Space

I have never understood the ways of aliens. Today I scan the headlines to find that the Space Shuttle Endeavour will make its final journey through Los Angeles—by truck—after piggybacking atop a specially-outfitted (I’d assume—I only read the first paragraph) 747 from Florida to LAX. Prior to that it had been in Space. Because it …

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Manifest Density: A Superhaiku of 50/70/50 lines

We are working from a weapons-grade tub of mayonnaise; each child has dipped his personalized mayoladle—an engraved heirloom presented at puberty—and covers his chicharrones in substance. We will prove to the scientists that we can expand faster than gas, farther than the confines of the universe.They say we consume, but this is a lie; our …

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